Season 2, Episode 5

Leading in Conversation
Leading in Conversation
Leading in Conversation, Season 2, Episode 5
Loading
/

Transcript

Kate: Hello, and welcome to Leading in Conversation. We are happy to have two colleagues with us today, Anthony and Heline, both from Africa, and I will let them introduce themselves in a minute. They were facilitators at an event that Nelis and I attended in November, and we really liked what they did with the facilitation to generate free, flowing conversations. So we’ve invited them to share with us and with you today. Antony and Heline, welcome.

Anthony: Thank you. Kate it’s really an honour for us to come and join you and Nelis in this part of the conversation and podcast. My name is Anthony Kamau. I am born and raised in the city of Nairobi. That’s where I am, born, raised and working in the city of Nairobi all this while. I work as a special programs coordinator within our organisation and really in a nutshell what that means is my work is to help all the countries that we work with to find innovative ways of resourcing our work, either with people or funding, and training the people that we bring on board. So once again, thank you for having me on board.

Kate: Great to have you with us. Heline.

Heline: Thank you, Kate. Thank you, Nelis. My name is Helen Kimbung, I am glad to be with you on this podcast today. I am Cameroonian, and I serve and live in Cameroon, precisely, Yaounde. My role is in human resources. So I am leading the human resources effort within our organisation here in Cameroon, which entails basically finding people who are passionate and called to be involved in the work we are doing, and then supporting them as they do their work, so that they can thrive while at it.

Kate: Brilliant. Thank you.

Nelis: Yes, thank you. And just as Kate said, we were impressed with the way they both led and organised facilitation of an event. And I’ve been impressed with both of them before, just observing their leadership and their desire to pick up new concepts, to run with them. And that sense of innovation is something that I really see in both of you. So it’s exciting to see that. And we’ll come back to that sense of innovation. So, we met together, as Kate said, to brainstorm together, to look at our strategies in Africa, and to really look at, how do we connect the strategy with the reality on the ground? And that’s what we wanted to explore with people rather than just throw things at people. Because, as we’ve said in this podcast before, that just doesn’t work. And it was really fascinating to see how Anthony and Heline tried to culturally adapt that, to make it work in the African context. So I’d love to hear some thoughts from you on what drove you in those adaptations. So what are your initial thoughts? What comes to mind when you say, okay, yes, when we took those concepts, here’s what we thought. So, what were your ideas? What did you immediately run into, like, okay, we need to make some changes here?

Anthony Kamau: Thank you. Nelis. The idea of running meetings within big organisations has always been either you pick something that is really working very well and ensure that it is implemented all across like a straight jacket. But when Heline and I and the team that we were facilitating the meeting together with, we were asked to lead this, we sort of asked ourselves, what is our audience in this meeting, and what is the goal that we are trying to achieve? And really, the goal that we are trying to achieve is to help people participate in a meeting actively, and we wanted them to feel that there is a level of inclusivity that is included. And at the same time we wanted to come out with actionable output out of the meeting. And so, yeah! So when we thought about the model of open space technology, we said, this is really great. But hey, open space technology has some few risks that we are aware of, and we wanted to mitigate those risks because you don’t want a meeting whereby, because the conversation is loosely guided, the conversations become messy, confusing and frustrating because a lot of input is coming from everywhere. And we sat down and asked, how can open space technology be an African open space technology? That’s where the conversation really started and it flowed on and on.

Heline Kimbung: Yes, and I can add that the idea of having free, flowing conversations, albeit with specific goals to achieve in mind is not a concept that is completely foreign to our context. It helped that the facilitation team was diverse, and we could really ask ourselves what works within our wider African context. We asked ourselves what would be a good, meaningful conversation with what could happen with the leaders that are gathering together at this meeting? How can we make it our own? How can they make it their own? And as we thought about that we considered typical conversations that happen within our different communities, and the whole idea of fireplace charts came up, which which we we thought, this is really typically our thing. People would gather around a fireplace or gather around a meal in the kitchen to have conversations and people who have the liberty to share what was on their mind, to build up new topics and then to let the conversation flow freely. So that’s how we got about fireplace chats.

Nelis: So is that just a name change? Or was there more to it?

Anthony: Well, it’s not just branding, really. It’s both the technique and the brands were a little bit different. So it was a hybrid system, I would say, because what we did is we took all that we love about open space technology. The idea of, you know, ensuring that participants have full control of the meeting, and the experience they have and the outcomes of that whole meeting. But the same time taking something else that we love that is so African, conversational leadership, where people just meet and then there is a specific person who is hosting a conversation, and everyone is feeling free to participate in that conversation. So yeah, good things in open space technology. So it’s not just a rebranding, but taking advantage of that and making it African, and ensuring that we have someone who is identifying, framing, hosting the conversations, the discussions, so that they mirror in a way, those conversations that are happening every day in the villages in Africa. 

Kate: That’s really interesting. I didn’t realise that, the mirroring what happens in African communities, anyway. And tell me more about the role of the host, the person who’s sort of coordinating, loosely coordinating, not controlling.

Heline: In the context of the conversations that we had, the host typically would be, or was the person who received as many people as were interested in a given topic which had been previously framed by the group, by the people, and the hosts would help allow the conversation to happen, and then frame or the host would help get the conversation going, ensure that everyone had a chance to share asking questions, by asking questions. For example, the host could ask, are there other things you would like to share? The host would also be conscious of everyone that was around that fireplace, and having chat, and then inviting voices that were a bit more silent or helping really those that were that had more ideas to also be conscious of everyone else that was together around the fireplace. And hosts also had the responsibility to see that the main takeaways from that conversation were being captured in such a way that they would be beneficial for that group afterwards, but also for the wider group, following those conversations.

Anthony: And one more thing that it’s good we mention is that typically conversations can go on and on and on and on. And it can take different tangents. And what we wanted is the host of that fireplace chart to really ensure that discussions still remain on the topic. It’s good, Africans love to talk about the weather. Africans love to talk about their family members. How is the extended family doing? All those things are good things, but given the time frame, we wanted the hosts of the conversation to also ensure that the discussions are kept on the topic, and that was one of their big roles.

Nelis: So you identified those hosts ahead of time, didn’t you? 

Heline: Yes, we found that it would be helpful for us to identify a discussion facilitator hosts ahead of time. Because then it would give us it would help us save time. So we didn’t have to ask for volunteers on the spot and it’s to see if someone was willing or we didn’t want to have the same people, just the same people doing it over and over. We felt that identifying hosts ahead of time also gave us a chance to  invite leaders that way that way, newer or that way emerging, if you may, to participate in these important conversations by hosting. So we went ahead and identified people, emerging leaders. For the most part, and then we give them the chance to host conversations around the fireplace.

Kate King: That’s really interesting, because I didn’t realise at the time that you had chosen people beforehand. I somehow missed that in the process. So that’s an adaptation of open space technology which says, you bring the topic. And you host. Or maybe people, bring the topic and then we ask, who would like to host this conversation? I should probably add that one of the other aims of this event was to develop emerging leaders. So they were invited along. And it was seen as a development opportunity. So that’s a really good way of giving people that opportunity to try out facilitating a small group. Less threatening in that small group context. I remember the first time that happened to me at an international conference. It was terrifying, but it was a great experience. So tell us, how did the topics emerge?

Anthony: So we wanted it to be very natural. And so how we had designed the facilitation style was, we have one of our global leaders presenting something to do with the global plan. And then, after the presentation, we will solicit responses from the people, and then we get to ask them, “in your table groups just talk about what is your highlight? What are the questions that are emerging out of this?” and then we would collect all those questions and insights in a way and hand it over to the synthesis team. This is a group of guys who are really bright and analytical. They are able to see the big picture out of the messy many ideas that are coming up and then they will summarise for us quickly that these are the main topics that people are really highlighting. And voila! There came our topics, and then we asked people. Now, which topic do you want to talk about?

Kate King: And that was done amazingly quickly. I was really impressed at that because I was sitting right next to the Synthesis team’s little area with their flip chart and their posters on the table, and there was just a buzz of people scurrying around and connecting ideas. And while they were doing that there was something else happening in the room, wasn’t there? There was another session, so it wasn’t even during a break. 

Anthony: Wasn’t it? We intended, intentionally made sure that there is no gap when the synthesis team is doing their work, and we did not want it to feel mechanical. So what we did is ensure that, oh, yeah, someone else is there for 15 min taking us through another session, which feels very natural.

Kate: Yes, it worked very well.

Nelis: Yes. And I think that you touched on this with the hosts as well. And this topic did the same thing. Is you created a way that it is not the same people who always bring up topics, or who end up being the hosts of conversations, so that it really is a collective process for the whole group. And you get a diversity of voices in there, and really create a way that everyone could participate. Everyone co-owned the topic, and it wasn’t your usual, often Western people who ended up volunteering all the topics or being hosts, because I’ve seen that before, and that there is that risk. So I think you really overcame some cultural issues that way.

Heline: And just adding that even the table, the discussion host, the host had the chance to pick the topics that they wanted to host by themselves. So we didn’t just hand topics to different hosts to say, “Okay, you are hosting this discussion around this topic”, but they had the chance to choose the topic that they wanted to host the conversation around. So it allowed for them to be comfortable and to feel like they were on top of facilitating the conversations that were happening around the table.

Kate King: And two things that I noticed were, if there were a lot of people who wanted to discuss one topic, you actually split the group into two, so it was a decent size. And I think that was a really good decision, because if the group gets, too, some people automatically sort of just start to sit back and opt out. 

Heline: We had previously decided that for a good conversation to really happen within the time that was allocated. It would be helpful to have a certain number of people, and so we kept our eyes in the room, and when we saw that there was interest in one topic, and we had more than the maximum number of people going towards that group. We had numerous hosts that had already been pre identified. We just went ahead and split the group, and a different host picked up the topic so the same topic could be discussed at 2 or 3 different tables if there were more and more people that were interested in that conversation.

Kate: And I think that worked well, for another reason is that a previous event I had attended one topic really touched everyone, and there was a huge group at that table, twelve people, I think it was. And then some of the other groups just had a couple of people, 2 or 3, and it had that feeling of, I think people were like, oh, what are we missing out on that table? Why is everyone on that table? Oh, this topic is more important to people. The way you equalised the group sizes, actually, I think, had that really positive effect on the dynamic for the rest of the groups. I noticed that there weren’t any groups that just had 2 or 3 people. Actually, it spread quite evenly.

Anthony: Yeah, that was something we had not planned for. We had hoped that as people raised the topics, you know, the synthesis team, if they do a good job, how we will know is the manner in which people will be distributed in those groups. And so because sometimes you might have a synthesis team that comes up with topics and people are not gravitating towards those topics, and having people in one group might represent that that’s a topic that is of interest for most people and needs attention. But it might also indicate that the synthesis team has not really captured the individual topics that are there. So that was something that we found out as a, you know, a reward of having good synthesis team members working with you.

Kate: Now in pure open space technology, there isn’t a synthesis team. It’s actually individuals who put their hand up, and they come to the front, and they write their topic on a piece of paper and say, Who wants to join me? And using that method, you often end up with a couple tables where actually, there isn’t much interest. Only a few people go. And so you don’t have such good conversations. And I think the synthesis probably ensures that you’re bringing together several ideas around a similar topic. So there are naturally going to be more people interested in joining that group. Just a small thing that I observed, but I think it was really helpful.

Nelis: There was another element that you introduced that isn’t pure open space technology. And that is what you call clan gatherings. So can you expand a bit on that? What was the thinking behind that? And how did that work?

Anthony: When you have a team of people who are coming from about thirty-four countries, and you have operations in most of those countries, you want to ensure that at the end of the day people who are coming from the same context can come together and say, “Hey, guys, this has been a good strategy meeting that asks us what we need to do in order to serve the people that we serve”. So the clan meeting really naturally came out of that because we wanted to ensure that we give opportunities for people who are coming from the same country to just sit down together and discuss, “What are we hearing? What are our actual commitments that we are coming out of this meeting with?”. So that it’s not one of those feel good meetings you’ve come to and “Oh, yeah, we experienced this new fireplace kind of thing where ideas were coming up. But is it leading to actionable outputs that are contextual?”. So that’s why we put together the clan meetings. And the interesting thing is again we are looking at, this is Africa. Where do we find the most equalising and the most agreement of things? It’s really within the clan, because it’s where people come together and say, “Hey, we heard about this. But does it really work in our context? Does it really work in our village? Or is it just something that really happens broadly but it can’t take place in our context?”. So that explains the clan meeting.

Heline: Right, adding to that, while the Fireplace Chats gave everyone in the room, every leader in the room, to have conversations around topics that interest them so they could go as they wanted to, the clan meetings now gave them the chance to come back home, bring back what they’ve been hearing, be it from the fireplace chats that happened with leaders from other countries or from other contexts. They could now come back with their own immediate team, their clan, as Antony was saying. “This is what I’m hearing. This is a success story from country A. This is a challenge from country. B. How does that really apply to us?”. “What action steps can we take from these things that we’ve been hearing from others, that we would bring back home and try to contextualise it?”. So it was really a time to bring back home what leaders have been hearing from everyone else that was in the room.

Kate: Yeah, I think that was such a brilliant move from the facilitation team and achieved that cross fertilisation that we’re always looking for when we hold these international events or area events so that you may, you know you may be stuck on one particular thing in your own country. But then, when you meet with others who actually have similar challenges, and you see how they’re tackling them. You can learn something and contextualise it and apply it in your context.

Nelis: Yeah, I agree, that I loved how that worked together. And it’s this sense of inspiration and an application. So you go from inspiration to application. You go from cross fertilisation to bringing it home, like you called it. And it also has this sense of collective responsibility. It’s not just about the individuals. And I think that is one of the African cultural contexts, of course. You’ve got to co-own. It is not about me owning it, it’s about us owning that. And that’s where the clan, I think, is absolutely essential. So I really like that sense of bringing it home, of ownership as a group. And then, a sense of okay, what are we going to do with this? So how are we going to push this forward and that bridges that gap to making it actionable, that you talked about Anthony early on.

Kate: And that’s often a criticism of conversational leadership. People say, “Oh, it’s just talk. And then what do you take away at the end of it?” Well, I think if a generative process, conversational leadership is done well, it’s done exactly how you did. You actually had people make commitments at the end, and stand up and share them with the whole room, which I thought was very brave. But  it really does sort of start to cement that into reality. You’ve got to think, well, what are we going to do? And now we’re going to tell people about it, and that introduces an element of accountability as well.

Anthony: Yeah, and on top of accountability, what that ends up doing is when people know what you are committing to, they know how to support you, be it leaders who are at the area level or global level, or people who are within your context. When they hear you as the director or one of the individuals in that country saying, “This is what we are committing to”. They start thinking, “Okay, this is how I can reallocate my resources to come alongside you to help you to be successful”.

Heline: Right? And I think it was also really beneficial for leaders present that we could have those clan meetings while together, because sometimes you could say, Okay, you go into into meetings, and then you take your own notes, and you take your own ideas and you take your own possible action points, and then you go back home and try to see what to do with it or not. So being able to have those clan meetings, while together, was also really showing evidence of us wanting, wanting the leaders present to start to together with their clan see what they could do, and how they could bring it back home. So it was happening while they were still together within that atmosphere, in those meetings and not just “Okay, we went to these meetings, and we came back. And what can we remember from our notes? And what can we do?” So it was, I think, that it was also beneficial that we could have those clan meetings happening following conversations, while still in that atmosphere of those meetings.

Anthony: Yeah. And I just wanted to mention that, you know, one of the things about those commitments is, I was talking to one of the leaders just this week and I was asking him, “How are you doing with your commitments?” He said, “Oh, yeah, you know what I need to meet with my larger leadership team, apart from the people that we had invited, so that we talk more about that and see how to move forward”. And, one of the emerging leaders that he had invited was on his case, asking him, “What are we doing about these things that we talked about, or are there any plans for us to move forward? Or was it just a paper that we wrote to show, you know ,the people who are in the meeting that we are committed to something?”. And that in itself really gave me joy, because this emerging leader is a young lady who is not yet 30, but she is really looking forward to her contribution mattering in the organisation.

Kate: And that, I think, is so key. When you use a participatory process like this, people see their contribution mattering, and it energises them to continue afterwards. They were part of creating those commitments, and they want to see them developed. I think, particularly if you bring younger emerging leaders in, they’re not so consumed with the overwhelming burden of running an organisation like the senior leaders are, and maybe they have a little bit more space, a little bit more energy to be part of pushing those things forward. Love it, it’s great. So, looking back now, a month or so on, how do you feel it went overall? Is there anything you’d do differently next time? Anything you learned in the process?

Anthony: Yeah. Just recently we met together as a facilitation team, and we were drafting our report that we want to send back to our leaders and we asked ourselves, when we were thinking about the recommendation, what would we have done differently? And what will we tell our leaders, top leader, to implement differently? And obviously, one of the big things is the tension of when you want people to discuss, how much presentation do you want to do? So, striking that balance between a plenary session where someone stands and they are talking to you about a specific aspect of the global plan versus sitting down in your groups and having conversation. That balance is still one of those things that we are thinking, “Oh, yeah, we are not sure whether we got it right”. We are not sure whether we would want to go with either. So it’s one of those battles that is still going on, and still unresolved in our report.

Heline: Yeah, I can add that one lesson, or one, I wouldn’t say it is something that could have been done differently, because I believe that as we were planning those meetings, it became clear, is that when you have a mandate or when you have a responsibility to facilitate a meeting, such important meetings, and you do not really, you get to really understand what the objectives are, what your responsibilities are, it can be a challenge. I found that the leadership that gave us responsibility to  facilitate those meetings, to plan and facilitate those meetings, communicated very clearly with us, and the communication was clear, not because we had this one time clear conversation. It was clear eventually, because we, as we met with the leadership ,as we asked questions, and as they told us, painted a picture for us. It became even clearer what the responsibility was, and I think that helped a great deal. Another thing I can share is that even though the leadership had an idea of what they wanted the meetings to be like and what the goals were for the meeting, they gave us some liberty to be able to contextualise those meetings and make it ours for our context in Africa. And I think that’s really key. Because that’s why the tools that were proposed to us, we had the chance to understand a bit more, especially with Antony on our team, who had also not, just understood, rather experienced the use of other tools, particularly the open space technology tool for facilitating meetings. It was helpful that we felt that there was a degree of liberty that was given to the team to contextualise things. So for us to be able to say, Okay, how can this be meaningful in an African context. We felt that the team had communicated clearly, and we could actually do that or meet the goals that had been previously communicated to us. So let’s say, that was really really great, and it helped us a great deal.

Nelis: I would like to ask a more broad question. So you’ve been familiar with conversational leadership for a while. And now you have led this at this kind of level with a large group. So what are your additional learnings around conversational leadership? What works and doesn’t work, as you look back?

Anthony: conversational leadership, let me start by saying, Nelis, it’s not really

something that is foreign to the African context. That’s one of the things that I’m starting to see. Africans lead by conversations a lot. You find very easily, leaders want to identify an issue and frame it in such a way that they can invite people to speak into that issue in a clear way. So that’s one thing that has been solidified in my mind that conversational. But something that probably I learned is, it’s very easy for the leader not to participate in the conversation when conversational leadership is happening, because it sort of feels like, “Oh, I have framed the issue. Now, guys, come and talk about it, and then, when you’re done, you let me know.”. And it puts leaders as outsiders. And I think this is especially me and other people on the facilitation team. We did feel like we were outsiders to this conversation. So really we were not going to the table discussions. And probably sometimes it’s because we are following up with other things. But for the majority of the time it’s because we felt our work was to ensure that we are framing these issues and the conversations and allow people to talk. But we ourselves and other global leaders, a few who attended, sometimes I did notice, it’s like we are pulling away from those conversations and waiting for the reporting to come back. And it is something that I need to work on, and we need to work on as an organisation.

Kate: I will say, having done facilitation at other meetings before we learned about conversational leadership that just does happen if you’re a facilitator. I remember coming away from one of our international conferences, saying “I’m actually not aware of what emerged really or what happened in the sessions because I was so focused on running the sessions, the activities, the different outputs, etc.”. I didn’t really participate. And in those days I wasn’t a leader. I was just a facilitator, it didn’t really matter. But I see what you mean. If you have leaders who are part of the facilitation team, then they are missing out of being part of the process. And there’s a real challenge of being a participant facilitator. And I think we have to just be really careful about that. I also noticed that I and other global leaders were often hanging back from the group, because we were told, we committed as a group of global leaders coming that we weren’t going to dominate, that we were there to listen, to learn and to let the people on the ground really contribute and take things forward. It’s quite easy, if you come in as a global leader and you speak, nobody wants to really challenge you. They’ll just sort of nod and repeat what you’re saying. But actually we wanted to deliberately hold back, so that that may have been some of what you were seeing.

Nelis: But it’s a good challenge, because as Anthony is saying, there is a risk in that, so it’s finding that balance of really feeling you can participate without dominating and creating space and that’s very tricky, because you often fall on one side or the other. You end up dominating anyway, or you end up not really participating, and neither result is great. So that’s quite an interesting challenge. Thank you for raising that.

Anthony: To put it in the African lenses, Nelis, is what the global leaders were doing really, is to prepare a good meal for their visitors, if you may, but then they are not joining them in celebrating in that meal, you know, just putting it for them and telling them, “Hey, enjoy!” And you are not eating with us, then we are not in one spirit, if you may, we are not walking together in this. You are just inviting us to your table so that you show off and put your table there, and then you leave us. 

Kate: Wow! When you put it like that Anthony, it’s so powerful and I feel terrible. Thank you for explaining it like that. Yeah, I can see that now. We had good intentions in holding back, but actually interpreted, perhaps from an African perspective, that was negative. Definitely something for us to think about. Heline?

Heline: Yes, another thing I can share, just going back to the question Nelis asked about having co-facilitated these large meetings, and what one would say from the perspective of conversational leadership. One thing, I realised again, is that conventional leadership really can be very uncomfortable because, even though the leader or the leaders were there to frame the big issue, in reality, they do not have control of how the conversations were going to go and what the outcomes of those conversations were going to be. So that can be uncomfortable. And it’s really like being in a vulnerable place because you’re not sure, you know, what people are taking exactly what taking out of those conversations, and if it’s away from what you intended or not. But I think it is very freeing when we are able to do that, frame the bigger issue and and and let people take the conversation around that big issue, or within the scope of that big issue as they would choose, because they are thinking about how that works for them, how that applies for them, how that is a challenge for them. So I think at the end of the day, when you look at it, despite coming from a place of being uncomfortable, it can be very rewarding. Because then what comes is not what the leader is saying, “Okay, this is what has worked for for Côte d’Ivore, so bring it to Cameroon, it’s going to work. This is what has worked for Kenya. So let’s take it to Uganda, it’s going to work”. But really people are hearing, and then they are trying to bring it home by themselves. So that’s one thing I really saw that I think is powerful when conversations are facilitated in a way like what we had.

Nelis: Thank you. I really appreciate those takeaways, two massive takeaways from both of you. One is the challenge of real participation, not preparing a meal and then not participating. And, secondly, the power of letting the uncomfortable happen so that people can take it home themselves. Another quote I remember from both of you, is this sense of, conversational leadership fits in Africa. You didn’t say it exactly like that. But that observation, I think, is quite powerful. So we need to come to a close. Are there any other things that you would like to say, there’s another takeaway I want you to, or our listeners, to take home from this?

Anthony: For me, it’s just to mention that when you invite us to this podcast, of course, the assumption is that two of us really worked very hard on this. But in truth, the facilitation team was made up of a multicultural, multi-generational kind of team. And the impact that this brought was that we are having people who have a rich history and experience, and they are bringing it as part of the tools that we are using. But at the same time we are having people who are coming from diverse contexts and they are bringing it to the table. And so, in order to put together this as a success, we really needed that aspect of multicultural teams, but also multigenerational, because together we do better. And that is what Africa believes in.

Nelis: Great.

Kate: I love that there’s still space for oldies like Nelis and I.  Heline, any last thoughts from you?

Heline: That’s for sure. There is space, there is actually space for everyone, and that is very, that’s really African. It’s like cooking a good pot of soup. Usually we have all kinds of spices that go into it, and they come from all kinds of places. Some come from the ground, others come from the tree, some it’s really just the flower of the tree, some is the seed, it comes from from all kinds of places. And I think that, like Anthony was saying, what we had, we are getting a sense that it was a good pot of soup, that was prepared, and it involved the participation of everyone. Again, it’s been served. It’s a process that takes time. We usually cook for hours and hours. We usually have conversations for hours and hours. We don’t know how to really just do very quick, you know some of our quickest meals would still take an hour. So that is what we were finding with those meetings, and that is what we believe that even coming away from that, we need to continue to promote. Give it the time. Let the conversation flow, and then let’s see what we take out of it. Our hope and our desire is that we would all be able to attend the goals that have been set and just feast from this good pot of soup that we’ve been cooking, or we’ve cooked together.

Nelis: I love that image and that festive sense, the sense of it being a meal, a real gathering, the multicultural aspect of that. It’s actually fun to see how you guys also made that physically a reality. I mean the multicoloured cloth, the African sort of decoration, all of that. Going into that room you had that sense of we’re gonna have this time of festivity together, conversation, a good part of soup, basically.

Kate: I love that. I’m now going to think of conversational leadership as that pot of soup bubbling away for hours while people mill around the fire talking, celebrating, being together. It’s really moving away from the task focus that those of us from the West are often guilty of and to the relationship, the process. I love it. Thank you, Heline, for that image. That’s it. I think that’s a very generative image. And we’ve talked about that in previous podcasts. So we’ll see where we can take that in future. Thank you both. This has been an awesome podcast, really enjoyed hearing your really unique perspective on conversational leadership. And I think there’s a lot for us to take away and chew over there.

Anthony: Thank you very much for inviting us. Yeah, we appreciate the time and we hope that you know, learners, listeners, are learning, and we ourselves are learning through these conversations. Really, thank you.

Kate: Thanks.

Heline: Thank you.

Kate: Thank you to our listeners for joining us again. As always, I’ll say, head over to leadinginconversation.net if you have any comments, thoughts, questions to share as a result of listening to this podcast. Thank you everyone. See you next time, bye-bye.

Season 2, Episode 2

Leading in Conversation
Leading in Conversation
Season 2, Episode 2
Loading
/

Transcript

Kate: Hello and welcome to episode 2 of season 2 of Leading in Conversation. It’s great to have Nelis back with me today. Hi Nelis. Why don’t you introduce our special guest for today? 

Nelis: Hi Kate, it’s good to be back and, yes, we do this together with Peter van Dingenen, a Belgian surgeon who is a friend I met in Kandern, where I live, who has worked for 20 years in Burkina Faso doing medical work, who is deeply invested in working with people, rather than for people. Maybe we’ll come back to that later. And that touches, of course, on conversational leadership. So when we started talking about this concept, he got really interested, “Okay, this is partially reflecting what I already do and partially inspiring”. Peter, tell us a little bit more about what you did in Burkina Faso, and maybe how that touches on conversational leadership? 

Peter: Thank you, Nelis and Kate, for being here. A little introduction maybe about myself. We – my wife and I – we’ve been working since ‘92 in Burkina Faso, mainly in medical missions. We’ve worked there five years, me as a nurse, and she as a chemist. And then after five years, that was 97, we went back to Belgium where I was able to finish my medical studies, that took us nine years. In 2006, by that time, we had four daughters, we went back, but my wife and I, we had this experience already in the 90s where the project we worked for was pretty much top down oriented and we just had to execute the projects that were given to us. Still, we tried to have a very participatory approach to all of this and then to end the story, in 2016 because of the studies of our children mainly, we came to Kandern where three of our daughters attended Black Forest Academy. 

Nelis: You started talking about one of those initial experiences of top-down leadership. Can you say a bit more about that and how that frustrated you and inspired you to do things differently. 

Peter: Actually, I wanted to start by saying, of course, in 92 – with Ineke – we prepared to get there and we read books and we had to do training, but I was very happy that during the first weeks of us being there I read one sentence that really stuck in my head for the rest of my life, where it said “In development work we all too often throw answers like stones to the heads of the people who never asked a question in the first place”. 

Nelis: I love that quote. Kate, what do you think?

Kate: Wow, that’s very profound. Yes, we’re answering questions that people haven’t even asked. 

Nelis: Throwing stones to people as an image of the way we often approach problems is really rich because I think that’s part of what we discuss in our podcast, isn’t it? 

Kate: It implies a distance, it implies one-sidedness. No participation, no conversation. 

Peter: Yeah, it implies also hurting people. Yes. 

Kate: Which sadly top-down leadership can often do and many kinds of leadership can. 

Nelis, So, you said that inspired you, you saw that happening. Say a bit more. 

Peter: Yes, I saw that happening. Well, one of the results of that approach is that today the project where we worked is gone. It’s just one more, big white elephant, like, we call them in Belgium: these projects that look really nice really, in the beginning, and have really nice pictures. And of course, while we were there, we were able to save thousands of children from hunger death. We were able to give information to mothers, how to prevent their children being underfed and how to grow vegetable gardens and so on. But still, it’s very sad that once the promoters of the project moved out of the project, the project just dies. 

Nelis: Because it never responded to the real question people were asking? 

Peter: Right. Well, they do ask the question, they are in pain and they see a problem but they have never been involved in defining how to get the problem solved. 

Nelis: Yes, so it’s for them rather than with them 

Peter: Right, and so one of the examples was my first project. Just a little sketch of the place we were: we were in a rural village. There was a centre for malnourished children and a small dispensary. And around that village there were five other villages and we were kind of responsible for the preventative work in those villages. These villages had been through a program sponsored by the European community to put latrines and it was like for a country wide program where they said like, “One village, one latrine”. Well it was a big latrine with many entrances. The way they approached is they funded a big hole in a place in the village at the villagers figured out, and put a big concrete slab on it and some walls. And yeah, that was it. And so the villagers were very happy with that. Thank you very much for the gift. And when we arrived there it was like six months after they had implanted these latrines in the villages. So I visited them, and saw that most of them were either already broken because of heavy rains. In some the concrete slab was so heavy that it kind of sunk, so no one dared to go on there, scared to fall in. I would not go there. And then, I saw one in particular that struck me. They had built it right next to the marketplace. You can imagine the smells. So, yeah, that was the result. I think, from a very non-participatory way of approach, of a very good idea. And so working as a medical professional of course I knew that there was  an enormous lack of hygiene in the villages, shown by the high numbers of children dying from diarrhoea and dysentery and people being very sick all the time, having intestinal problems. Of course in my agenda, the first thing I wanted to do is find a way to have better hygiene in the villages and not just by washing more your hands. And in that thought process, of course, I was new to the area, I didn’t know the language. So, how on earth am I going as a total stranger trying to convince people to build latrines, as an answer to the problem of all their children being sick, and that on top of it, without money. There wasn’t a budget for my program. 

Nelis: That sounds a little bit like often the leadership challenges many of us have: there’s no money and people aren’t excited about it. 

Peter: But then I saw it more like a challenge. I was very frustrated, of course, by seeing so many projects all across Africa, looking nice on pictures and reports. But seeing that a lot of these projects are – I like to call them big white elephants – and no one wants that. Honestly speaking, no one wants to hear that at the end, that it works out like that. So how will I do this? I think language is a very, very, very important and powerful tool to work with, but also a very dangerous one. I was blessed enough to have a local pastor who spoke both French and the local language. And as I got to know him, when I listened to him, preaching, or translating into French, I understood that he was more translating the idea, not so much the words. I was like, “Oh, that’s an interesting person”. So I got to sit down with him and I exposed him to the problem at hand, that I was responsible to help the people in the villages. And I asked him if he would be okay to translate for me, and he also knew all these people in the villages, so that was a plus. So I decided not to go with the four wheel drive truck to the villages, because when you come to a village like that, they all stare at the vehicle and they say, “Oh that guy has a lot of money. Let’s see how, you know, how you get some from that”, which is normal. I have to honestly say the only thing that I bought for that project was a bicycle so that I could get around to the villages. 

Nelis: Everything else was provided, that’s what you say. 

Peter: Yeah. Yeah. I didn’t put any money into that project. 

Nelis: So what did it take for people to do that? Because that is the conversational leadership challenge. 

Peter: Yes. So I went to the villages and I even said, I decided that I would behave like a total stranger. Of course, I read books and I knew what a latrine was and how to build it, and blah, blah, blah. And I know that there was a need of clean water and education for the kids and vaccination and what not, to get them to a better health situation. 

Nelis: But you acted, as if you didn’t.

Peter: As if we didn’t. So first you, when you go somewhere and that’s anywhere in the world that’s not just Africa. Anywhere also in Europe,  you go and you cannot make statements or say, this is what you need to do or not to do, you just say hi. I’m a total stranger. I’m very happy that I can be in your place. 

Kate: I think that’s a really interesting insight that you share there, Peter, because one of the things about conversational leadership is that the leader needs to take on a new role. We’ve talked about this in some of our earlier episodes last season, that, you know, the whole concept of hero leadership, the leader knows everything, the leader has the vision for the project. Conversational leadership completely flips that around and has the leader coming as a learner, as a facilitator, as a participant. And what you’re saying really demonstrates that.

Nelis: Yeah and I love how it brings that theory into a really concrete practical thing. You know some of the answers but you cannot throw them at people like stones because as soon as you do that, it hurts people and they’re not listening.

Peter: It’s counter productive and they’re not engaged anymore. And they told me about the village and I said, are there any problems you have here in this village? And pretty soon they were telling me that, yeah, the children are very sick and there’s no school and they don’t have enough water during dry season and there’s some housing problems. So, of course, they talked about a few things. And then in a second visit, we would approach these things again, these four or five main items that always show up in villages like that, and just asking questions about it, together with my pastor friend. We decided, of course, that you could try to help them to get clean water. But the first thing that would be done is to protect these waters. So we both agreed that helping people to have better hygiene would be a better approach. So when we went on these sessions we just started by asking questions. “So you told us about your children being sick all the time. That’s actually very interesting because where I come from children don’t die from, or don’t have these diseases. So, help me to understand, what’s going on”. So I took an approach where I don’t know anything. You tell me. 

Nelis: This is neat because, as Kate said earlier, that the role of you as leader was one of guiding to where they want to go, asking, helping them find solutions. Yes. So it’s the very facilitative role rather than the guy with all the answers. 

Peter: Yes, and so they told me. “Oh yes, well our children have diarrhoea all the time and I said yeah, well why?” and they said, “Well, it’s because of the food they eat”, and I said, “Oh, what’s wrong with the food?” And they would go. “Yeah, it’s the women. They don’t cover the food when it’s finished”, something like that. And then I said, “I can’t understand, why?”, and they say, “There’s flies,  and the flies sit on the food and, and our children, they play everywhere”. So they started blaming others, of course. Most of them were men, but there were some women too. And then it became awkward and they go like, “Well, at our place it’s not like your place.” “Yeah I kind of figured that, but tell me more, I really don’t understand”. And they said “Well, when you entered the village, the bushes you saw there, left, that’s where we go, if we need to go”, something like that. I said, “Oh, okay”. “Yeah, well and then the flies sit there and get on the food”. So very interestingly, they already knew a few of the basic hygienic reasons why things happen, it was not all spirits, apparently. And so it went on and on, not to go into too much detail, because such a conversation can easily take up to two hours if everyone is relaxed and everyone wants to pitch in something that he knows. And that’s interesting too because all of a sudden, someone knows something that the other one didn’t mention and they’re kind of proud to tell that to everyone. 

Nelis: I love again with your saying here, because what you’re saying is you can’t take a shortcut to the solution. No. So the conversational leadership approach is one where you’ve got to kind of go with the flow and allow time to guide you in a way. 

Kate: Yeah. And letting things emerge. At the beginning of conversation, people might not think that they know the answers, the solutions to their own problems. But the act of talking then, you know, somebody says something and that triggers something for someone else and then they build on each other. And by the end you got quite a comprehensive set of causes that have emerged because everyone had a little part of the solution perhaps. 

Nelis: But it also shows that your a role as leader in that conversation was not just one of passively listening because the normal around-the-fire conversation would not have resulted in this? Right. It was very much a guided conversation.

Kate: So you were asking leading questions and bringing in new information, such as “Where I come from our infants, our children don’t all die of these diseases”. So that was a new piece of information you were bringing into the conversation, stimulating a discussion about, well, why does it happen here? 

Peter: Yeah, there we got to the point where, yeah, I even brought in at some point where I said, is the food not good? Did God give you – because everyone over there believes in God, so everything is related to God what they do. And so I said, you know, “Did God give you a bad harvest or something or is it the food you eat? Is that the cause maybe?” They said, “No, no, it’s not that”. So they kind of really started to take on, kind of feel that there was some responsibility from their own part where they could actually… to get them where they could actually decide, “Oh maybe we could do something about it”.

Nelis: And then they were motivated. 

Peter: Yes. Yes, at some point I really asked the question, I said, “So, is there anything you could do about this situation” and in most villages I have to say there was already a few people who kind of have dug their own latrines and they were using them. Then you all of a sudden have two, three people who are very proud to explain to the others, what they did, and how that worked out for them. What was even more inspiring and interesting for me is that all of a sudden you have these people discussing what types of wood you have to use to cover the pit. And then someone even said, “Yeah, and you have to take leaves of the néré tree to put on that wood so that the termites don’t eat the wood. I could never have found that in any book, not even on Google. Google didn’t even exist back then. It’s just so amazing that all of a sudden you see a much better solution. 

Nelis: And it’s really interesting because what you’re saying is that concrete slab could not work because it was too heavy, it would sink into the ground. 

Peter: Yes, as soon as the rains began, it starts to sink.

Nelis: But the people knew how a proper latrine would work. Yes.

Kate: They already had the knowledge, the information needed there – I love that – and the external solution was doomed to failure, the concrete was just too heavy in that context with that kind of ground. That’s fascinating. 

Nelis: And that’s fascinating isn’t it, because that applies to leadership situations in any context. 

Peter: Yes. Yes. We have to be open, people have to be open, and they want to get somewhere or help people to get somewhere, you have to be open to what they know, not so much to what we know. 

Nelis: So you start building those, to make a long story short? 

Peter: No, I didn’t build anything! So the other thing was, someone said, “Oh, it smells very bad to have such a thing”. I said, “Well what I could do to kind of join in the project, I could go to the capital every six weeks and I have a pickup truck so if someone wants a pipe – they figured out that you need to put a pipe in there and then it’s 2 metres high and then the bad air just flows up and no one smells it”. I said each one should pay, it was an equivalent of two dollars just for that pipe that I could buy it for them, and I said, you know, make a list of those who paid, the transportation will be for free because I’m going to the capital anyway. Something like that. Well they never showed up with a list, nor the money. So I figured that wasn’t that important to them. It was just  a part of a conversation and the thoughts they had. 

Nelis: That’s interesting. So you didn’t insist on your pipe. You basically said, they don’t think that part is important, then we’ll do it without the pipe. Yes. I love that. But they didn’t build it next to the market place.

Peter: No. And that was, so I really asked the question, “So, how do you want to build that? We just had a project here, I saw that big thing. And they said “No, no, no, that’s not the way to do it. Actually, every single family should have a latrine next to their house.

I said, “Oh, that’s an interesting idea. From what you’re saying I think that might be a very good solution”. At the end of the conversation, as soon as I saw that people said, “Hey we need to do that, we just need to do that’, I stepped out of my role actually and I said, “Hey, listen, if you build these latrines, that’s fine. If you don’t build these latrines that’s fine with me. Nothings going to change in me being a, you know, good friend to the village. But of course, you have to understand, since you said that the water you’re drinking might be infected, the next time that you offer me water to drink it will be difficult for me. I will drink it but I have to take into account that it might make me sick”. Because in Africa, as most of our listeners know, it’s very rude to refuse water that is offered, when you come to a village, that’s a cultural thing. I thank God for that idea that he put in my mind at that moment because I think that shows that cultural knowledge of where you work is important. And so you have to know the people and what is important to them. When I visited them, the first village was very interesting. That was the week of Ramadan. That meant that it was in April, it was the hottest month of the year. And so, for the next four days, they wouldn’t do anything. And I had promised them to visit them as part of my participation, just to visit them to see how the work was going, and what they were planning to do. And so, I would do that on a Friday because that’s their kind of day off. I went there on the next Friday. They didn’t work until the Tuesday. On Wednesday was Ramadan and they started digging on Thursday. And to my amazement 17 families had started digging. The most difficult thing for me was to walk for over two hours to visit each family, just to see what they were doing. But I tried to put it into more like a game where I, you know, visited and they were explaining what they were doing. And so someone who already was like over two meters deep and then I went to the next one and these young guys had just started and they were all sweating terribly and they would say, yeah here, that’s our pit. And I said, “Oh that’s interesting. I just went to your neighbours there and they already have like two meters”. And they were, “No, no, but we are just starting” Put some competition in there, just approach it not too seriously, have some fun doing that and they enjoy that and they appreciated my weekly visits just to see how the work proceeded. 

Nelis: But it’s interesting because, that again in conversation leadership, there is a significant leadership role, isn’t it? You didn’t pay for anything, you were not officially in charge of anything. These villagers were in charge of their own thing, but you had a hugely significant role in encouragement, in helping them arrive at their solution. All of that. 

Peter: That’s true. 

Nelis: That’s massive. 

Kate: I also love that you didn’t have to tell people to do anything, you facilitated the conversation.

They figured out the solution and then they implemented it. And often as leaders where we fall short is on the implementation. But if people come up with solutions themselves to their own problems, they are relevant, they are motivated to do it and they’ll make it happen. And 17 families had already started digging holes. All you had to do was go around and encourage and visit. Whereas, I think some of our efforts to implement things, perhaps, as leaders, where we haven’t involved people in developing the solutions. It’s much harder to get people, to persuade people to get on board with implementing things. 

Nelis: Also, the element of staying with people in the phase of implementation is very important. You don’t step out after facilitating the conversation. 

SPIKE

Peter: So, in the end with the five villages, we were able to have 46 new latrines built by themselves. I was thinking, how can I show my participation more tangibly? As we all know, family is very, very important in Africa. And I decided that I would do a family picture and put another little bit of competition there. And then they will all stand in front of the latrine and I’ll make a nice family picture. So you don’t see the latrine. 

Nelis: But you started off saying that you joined the organisation you were working with and you started doing all this work with the villages. And I’ve heard you talk to me before about an agricultural project you started with them as well, but then somehow it all came to a stop. It fell apart. You referred to this earlier. Because you said that was an example of top-down leadership. So what happened to contrast this beautiful picture of collaboration, conversational leadership, with the alternative. What happened? 

Peter: I can say in one sentence, I decided to go back to Europe to study medicine. I was a nurse back then. Saw a big need for medical care. And after five years, the biggest donor of the project sent a nurse to replace me. And during the three weeks’ transition, she literally said, even all the projects, income generating projects that I started like a vegetable garden, chicken farm, other things, she said, “Well, I don’t know anything about these kind of things, so we’ll stop that, and anyway, the donor will pay again 100% for the project”. Me having worked very hard to get it to 50% self-sufficiency. Yeah, after a few years, the donor retracted their funds, and the project died a slow death. 

Nelis: So that is the result of non-participation, no conversation, imposed solutions. Right. Because they’re always kind of short-term fixes. 

Peter: Yeah and I think people mean very well, but money is rarely the solution to the problem. It’s mostly counter productive. 

Nelis: That’s quite a meaningful comment, isn’t it? 

SPIKE 

Peter: After finishing these medical studies, Ineke and I, we decided to go back to Burkina Faso, now closer to the capital because we had to send our kids to school. But for us, it was very important, whatever we would be doing, it had to be participatory. We went back to help a doctor there to start a medical facility. But it became impossible for me to work at that place. I left that project and I was pretty much without a job. We happened to live in a street where like five houses down the street, there was another medical centre. One of the coworkers there came to see me and said, “Hey, why don’t you want to do some consultations at that place?”. And they said “We’d want to pay you for your job”. And that’s what they did. And thus started the money that we needed for whatever was coming next. Gradually, there was just someone who said, “Oh, you would like to do medical work and maybe hospital, maybe you need a piece of land?”. So we found a piece of land and bought that in a process. We also started to do mobile clinics in the villages in the primary schools and here again to be able to visit 250 children, in two days and do that properly, you need a lot of participation of local people. I needed the extra hands and since our children were going to the International School, we had some of them join us. And we have students join us for these medical visits. And again, in a very participatory way these students were involved in weighing the children and helping them through the visits and doing their eye tests and urine tests and so we can get a lot of information in a very short time indeed. 

Nelis: I love what you’re saying here because that’s what I’ve observed in your stories and your work. You tend to always see the possibility to bring in people from everywhere, that sense of creating more of a movement, rather than a structure. It’s one that I think characterises a lot of what you do and from a conversational leadership approach that is actually quite interesting. You didn’t have authority, hierarchical authority over anyone in the process.

Peter: No. I never actually had a very like… an official, like director of this or that. 

Nelis: So you create through conversations, through involvement, through inspiration, kind of a movement of people who are all sharing ideas.

Peter: Yeah, I have to say that for bringing in the school, it was actually a teacher at the school that said you were doing these medical visits, so that the kids have to do some community involvement thing, so could they join you in those visits.

Peter: So that’s what happened and for years in a row I think we visited over 25,000 children in total and for years in a row these students between 13 and 18 accompanied us on all these trips, including even the children of the President and the ministers of the country. It was amazing to see how they even got involved. We didn’t get any money from their parents to do that. And again, I didn’t need that money because the kids were there and I’m sure it will influence them for the rest of their lives. What they, you know, what they saw there? I know for a fact, there’s several students that became doctors and nurses because of it. 

SPIKE 28:50

Nelis: So now you work in Germany as a surgeon and I’ve heard you refer to our podcast on conversational leadership saying, “I wish that more people in the German healthcare system would listen to this”. So what are you seeing? How does the principles we talked about, that you applied in real life in Burkina Faso,  apply in a larger organisation like a German hospital? 

Peter: Well I see often how it goes wrong because it’s done wrong. You have new young people who want to become nurses and they come on the  ward and there’s a big whiteboard with their names on it. It’s like a big plan. So they have one side and on the x axis you have the names, on the y axis, you have the 20 actions that a nurse can do to patients: you know giving pills, injections, washing whatever. And they come in and it’s their name and the all red magnetic dots, like a red light, “don’t do that”. 

Nelis: You’re not qualified yet! 

Peter: And so I see, like, three, four young people standing there and really be, you know, they’re blocked if they ask a question already, people are like,” Well, I’m busy. So wait a minute”. This is not a very great atmosphere to start learning. I would say, I would probably, if you want to use that graph, I would put all green dots and say, “You have to go with a nurse, today you’re looking and watching what they’re doing and tomorrow, you’ll start doing it yourself. By the end of the week I would like you to be able to do different things that are on there”. With adults or young people I would not start using blue and red dots. 

Nelis: So it’s a sense of telling people what they can’t do rather than exploring what they can do. 

Peter: Yes. You’ve got to be positive, I think, from the start and open, and even ask them, “Hey, have you any experience in this?” and just start from there. I remember that this is a very strong one, in this story. I even told it to a colleague yesterday. As we were going with these high school students doing these visits, they had to do the eye test, where a child has to cover an eye and then say the “E”  is like this, like that, and just test the eyes. And so, they also had to do that with very young children of five, six year olds, who just started to go to school in a rural context in Burkina Faso, and the students didn’t speak the language, so there was a huge language barrier. So they had to try to explain to these kids how to do this test properly. That’s a very difficult thing. And I remember one student just trying and trying and after half an hour she came to me and said, “Dr. Peter it’s not going to work, this child doesn’t get it”. I said “That’s fine. It’s a very young child. She’s running around, I didn’t see her run into anything. I think she sees well, it’s just very important to check it. If it doesn’t work it’s okay”. But the student who was more courageous than I, behind my back, after talking to me, she just continued to try with this child. And another, I don’t know, 15 minutes or 20 minutes later I hear her shout, “She did it, she did it, she did it!”. So the student had really succeeded in having that child understand how to do this test. And I’m sure that stays with her for the rest of her life. It will help her to grow and to try and to… 

Kate: I think what’s really lovely about that story is that the focus is on the person not the task. The chart you were talking about was… when we try to systemarise things, we try to get organised in a way that I’m sure the hospital was trying to do with the very best of intentions, you lose sight of the people. And what’s most important is the people, their experience and how to train them… and you know, just thinking about “Well, let’s frame this more positively”. Often the systems we develop to track, to systematise, work against that people element, that focusing on the individual. And I think that’s a challenge for all of us in leadership to make sure that our systems… you know, however good the motivation, that we don’t lose sight of the people.

Peter: Yes, we have to play a big role in that as the leader. Yesterday, again, at the hospital ward a young nurse came to me and there was a task to be done. And she said, “Oh, I’ve never done that and I’m not allowed to do that” and she left the room. So afterwards, I went to her and said, “Hey what if you stayed with me and you look how I do it and I promise the next time I will let you do it but I will be responsible. I will look at how we do it and help you with that”. And she just brightened up so much and for the rest of the evening at the ER, she just was there all the time asking me questions. “Hey, can I do this? And “Is that okay?”. Just we have to create this openness so that people have space to move and to explore. 

Kate: and to grow.

Nelis: I think that’s such a huge principle, isn’t it? Focus on the person, focus on their growth and their potential and guide and support that. 

Peter: Even, I said it explicitly to the villagers back then. I said, if you do that, if you think you want to make sure that they adopted the idea and not because of you. So I said, if you build the latrines, that’s fine. If you don’t, I have my latrine at home. So it’s fine, you know. And you leave people you, 

Nelis: I think you’re touching on an interesting principle here, and it’s hard as a leader, because we’re so committed to getting results that you give people freedom to say, “It’s not gonna work, I don’t want to own this”. And that’s hard because for my personality, because I want to see results, but what you’re saying is you actually get more results if you’re willing to step back. 

Peter: Yeah and not own the thing, it’s not yours. The people said “Oh we want to put your name on the hospital or we want to do this”. I said, “Please don’t, it’s your hospital, it’s not my hospital, I live somewhere else and so we have to stress it every single time, and also for our own best because otherwise we would attach our hearts to something that is not our own. See, it was painful for me to see that the first project we worked at, that it’s gone. I visited it several times and it’s like our houses is in ruins, where we lived back then. And the rest,  yeah, it’s just, it’s still a dispensary but it’s not like it was before. Yeah, I then decided that I would never attach my heart to a project or I thing but I did attach my heart to the people I met during that time. Knowing that every single interaction with them somehow helped me and them to move forward in life and the results that came out of that, I might never know. But for myself, I know and for them, I hope that was beneficial. No that I can own as a…it’s for me that’s eternal and, and not the building or whatever structure we put up. 

Nelis: I love that. 

Kate: Yeah. I think that’s a really good note to end on actually, thank you Peter. It’s been fascinating, hearing your stories of conversational leadership in practice and kind of figuring it out as you went along, not knowing that there was a concept called conversational leadership, but just sensing what needed to happen in that context for the benefit of the people. And also, thank you for the reminder of making it all about the people, and their growth, not our goals. I think that’s really critical. 

Nelis: thank you, Peter.

Peter: Thank you too. 

Kate: As usual, the show notes and the transcript are going to be on the website. If you have any comments or thoughts in responses to what Peter’s shared, please do go along to leadinginconversation.net. Let us know what you think. Thank you for listening! 

Season 2, Episode 1

Leading in Conversation
Leading in Conversation
Leading in conversation Season 2, Episode 1
Loading
/

Shownotes

Lipmanowicz H. and McCandless K. (2013) The Surprising Power of Liberating Structures. Liberating Structures Press.

Kaner, S. (2014) Facilitator’s guide to participatory decision-making. Jossey-Bass.

Transcript

Kate: Welcome to season 2 of Leading in Conversation. I’m excited to be back for a second season, but sadly I’ll be kicking off without Nelis, who is unable to join us today. However, I’m really glad to be joined by Josiah Watters. Hello Josiah!

Josiah: Hi Kate. Good to be with you.

Kate: Thank you. Josiah is from the US, but living in Thailand, and he works in people development and organisation development and also does consulting and coaching across Asia. Nelis and I both met Josiah through a leadership course where he’s on Faculty. One of the first things I noticed about Josiah is his stellar facilitation skills. He always asks really interesting questions to get people talking. So, I guess I want to kick off with that, Josiah. When did you first get interested in facilitation, and why? 

Josiah: I think the first part of that journey for me was actually watching my dad. So my dad is a linguist by training, but he is also a teacher. And I remember, as a kid, watching him in different contexts, the difference in the engagement in the room when he would get up to teach, compared to others. Oftentimes people seem to be tuning out when I would watch other people speaking. And then when my dad would get up, people would lean in. And I realised, looking back, a lot of that had to do with the fact that he asked questions. From his perspective, it was maybe more of a Socratic method that influenced him. But he would ask great questions and his method of teaching involved a lot of dialogue among those he was teaching, and between him and his pupils. So that shaped me early on, and in university, I got involved in an outdoor education program on the side of my studies. And that’s where I really first began to facilitate groups. So we would take groups of people ranging from students, young students, all the way up to professional corporate groups, that would come and have these outdoor experiences together. And then we would facilitate discussion and discovery and dialogue. And so that whole process of learning to facilitate those groups really shaped how I went from then on.

Kate: That’s really fascinating. So, something you picked up almost subconsciously, maybe, as a child watching your dad, but then had an opportunity to hone as you got older. So, conversational leadership… when we were chatting the other day, you mentioned how discovering dialogic organisation development was transformational for you. Can you tell us a bit about that? What was so impactful for you? 

Josiah: Yeah, it was, it was a bit of a slow unveiling is how I experienced it. I was working with an organisation in Asia. We were trying to see more engagement among all the members in shaping the future together. We were thinking about how to involve people in co-creating the future. We were using that kind of language. And I came across a book called Liberating Structures, it’s actually The Surprising Power of Liberating Structures and it talks about how often we think of changing organisations by changing the macro structures. But they said actually, what is even more important is to look at the micro structures, the way that interactions happen in organisational life every day. And if we see change happen there, in those micro structures, all kinds of things become possible. And so, I was really intrigued by this book. We began to implement a lot of the Liberating Structure practices in our organisational life, and saw a great impact from that. And then I was at a little bookstore in Calcutta, India, and I came across this book that was on the shelf, called Dialogic Organisation Development. And I just picked it out. I thought I’d look through it and I began to read through it on the plane. And I realised it was the underpinnings of everything behind the Liberating Structures, why they were having the kind of impact that they were. 

Kate: Was that the book by Bushe and Marshak, that came out in 2015? That book was really impactful for me too. When I found it, it was like, oh, this is what I’ve been looking for, this makes sense. I’d read a lot of Ralph Stacy’s work before and I found it a little bit lacking in the practical application for leaders. And then when I came across Dialogic OD, and particularly that book, it was like a light bulb turning on for me. 

Josiah: So we had already begun with processes and practices that reflect the mindset and values of dialogic OD, without knowing the term dialogical yet. But we were recognising that all transformation is linguistic, that change happens through language. Everything in the one sense that we consider as an organisation occurs to us or rises through the medium of language. And how we began to explore that and that actually shifting what was happening in organisational life together requires different kinds of processes than what we had previously experimented with or become accustomed to. 

Kate: Absolutely. I think the power of language, the power of narrative, how you talk about things, changing how you talk about things can then change everything else within an organisation, and like you say, going from the macro to the micro. We often think that, where traditionally change has been viewed as a sort of top-down approach, that’s going to be successful. The leaders decide what the change will be and it’s usually the big stuff. But actually, seventy five percent of change processes fail, partly because they don’t involve the people at the micro level. I’d love to hear more about this. How have you been using these processes in your organisation? Can you tell us some stories? Give us some examples? 

Josiah: Sure. You know, I think one of the first things we ran into was the sense that the more people were involved in helping create something, the more they had a sense of ownership and engagement. And at the same time there seemed to be real limits on how many people you could have meaningfully involved, at least with the traditional structures, the traditional micro structures, things like a presentation or a facilitated discussion. Facilitated in the sense that I’m managing the discussion as the facilitator. There’s real limits to what’s possible there. You might only be able to work with, you know, six or nine, maybe twelve people at the most. 

Kate, Yes, otherwise, meaningful conversation sort of breaks down and you get question and response and comment…

Josiah: Right, and so what we loved about the Liberating Structures practices were that they allowed any size of group to meaningfully participate. And so we begin to use those. One early example was, I was in charge of organising our regional conference for our organisation and those conferences have been pretty traditional like any other conference you might imagine and in the preparation for it, we started talking to lots of people who had been previously to that kind of conference and asking them what were the best parts for them. What was the most meaningful, what would make it worth it for them to attend again, and so just really listening. And over and over, we heard, you know, the best was the things that happened in the margins. So we said, what if we move those things out of the margin and put them front and centre. So that was one of our first experiences was redesigning this conference. Really, it became an unconference, some might call it.

Kate: Can you explain what an unconference is? 

Josiah: Well, I don’t know a formal definition but it’s a conference without a planned agenda, without plenary speakers, without specific experts coming in to deliver certain topics. What we did was we tried to get the kinds of people there that we wanted interacting with our personnel. But we had to come up with a different contract with them. So, we invited them but we said, we’re not inviting you to come and teach a session. We’re not inviting you to come and speak in a plenary talk. What we’d like is for you to come and just engage, be there, be available. Engage in conversation with the participants and… 

Kate: That’s really important, isn’t it? Framing, setting expectations. You used the word “contracting”, you mean setting expectations, framing their role, telling them how you want them to interact, especially if they’ve traditionally been used to downloading information on people, sharing presentations. It takes some deliberate thought and action, to help people shift into a different mode of interacting, particularly when you’re using something like Open Space Technology. I’ve observed, it can be quite destabilising for leaders who are used to a traditional role in such events. Where is their opportunity to speak, to share, to download the information? And sometimes participants feel a little bit shaky. Like where are all the presentations? What, you mean, we’ve got to come up with the content? How did people receive it? How did it go down? 

Josiah: Well I think you’re exactly right. We had some of the guests that we invited that declined because they weren’t interested in that expectation that we were setting. And then others that accepted but did struggle during the event to adapt to a different way of being useful. And then others that really thrived. And for the participants by and large there was a very positive response. There was so much energy unleashed in the room across those few days. And some people that also struggled with running out of energy, which was interesting because they said, can we just actually, one person came up to me and said, can we just have one session with a talking head? Because I’m getting exhausted, from all this engagement there! 

Kate: Especially the introverts, it’s huge for introverts. If you’re doing all the engaging, you come to an event, you’re used to just sitting and listening, it can actually be quite relaxing, just letting the words wash over you… but, no, this is a very different…

So we kind of need to set the expectations for participants as well, you’re coming and it all depends on you. You’re coming to engage, to share your wisdom, to set directions, etc.

Josiah: Yes, that’s right. And I’m an introvert actually  myself and I’m going to actually encourage and try to model managing your own energy during the event and so there were some sessions where I just needed to go have a rest and have some quiet because then I had something more to contribute in the next session. 

Kate: I’ve had to do that, as well as you know, I’ve got Long Covid and sometimes I just have to say to myself, “Right, Kate, take a step back. You can’t actively participate in this session. You just need to rest while still being present and listening.” That’s quite hard for me as an extrovert. So, that was your first event, this conference, and did that go down well enough that you have repeated this? 

Josiah: We have, we’ve repeated it with some modifications over the years, so we’ve done more of a blend in recent years, between some kind of traditional, plenary types of sessions  but then with Liberated Structure processes for everyone to engage around the content and around the topics and then we still had places that were opened up for anyone to continue conversations. 

Kate: Yeah, that’s really interesting. So I literally just heard today of an event in our organization where they were using open space technology and they’ve actually just decided at the request of the participants to put a few presentations back in. I think it’s getting that balance between sharing information because the information you share frames and sets up the conversations, gives some input. So getting the balance is really important isn’t it.

Josiah: That’s right.

Kate: What have you learned in the process, what has worked, what hasn’t worked?

Josiah: We have experimented widely and one of my strengths is like discovering, learning, exploring, and so I was really gifted to partner  with some other leaders who were great at taking things from idea to action. I love the world of ideas and on my own I could probably stay there at times but I was working with some partners who were very action-oriented. So anytime I would come across a new idea, they would say, “How about we start it… today?” And I would feel the need to get more proficient, to learn more before we tried to put it into practice, but we would usually jump right in and start learning as we went. So we have learned a lot along the way experimenting with different processes but I think a foundational piece for all of these is listening. We started doing some coaching training, received some coaching training, began to be involved in individual coaching, one-on-one coaching. And the power of just practicing intentional listening as a gift to another stuck with us and we saw that over and over being the foundation for all these other kinds of group processes that we wanted to engage in together. 

Kate: Definitely, because if you’re not listening to what someone else is saying, and I think we see this happen a lot in those kinds of conference contexts, you’re actually sitting there preparing the thing you want to say. And I think, often in the old style conferences you used to have people speak from the floor at the mic and everyone would be lined up with their thing to say. It wasn’t really a conversation, it didn’t necessarily build, because people were coming with their different things. And what I love about a conversational approach is what happens when people do listen and build on each other and you get this whole different thing growing rather than everyone just coming up with their own idea. 

Josiah: Yeah. I think for me and my role as a leader in our organisation at the time a real challenge was that I wanted to model being a learner. I wanted to open up the space for the unexpected to emerge. I knew that the things that mattered most to us couldn’t be directed and planned in a linear way. And yet I was functioning in this role that often, I felt like I needed to live up to a sense of expertise or a sense of knowing the answers. 

Kate: I can so relate to that. Could you say a little bit more about the things needing to emerge rather than being planned? 

Josiah: Well, I think the difference for me is someone that’s trying to create a learning environment where they have a destination that they want the learners to arrive at, that presumes, you know the right destination and you know the path to get there. And that works for some kinds of situations and some kinds of challenges. But the things we were engaged in there wasn’t a proven, right answer or a proven path of how to get there. And so as a leader in that space the temptation to knowing the answer is a leader is still there. And culturally there’s a lot of bias towards that, like I felt pressured to have the answer but I knew that none of, no one of us have the answer. Somehow together we needed to discover it and that wasn’t going to happen if I was playing this role of the person with the answer or a person with a plan. And yet it was very destabilizing at times for people, for me in the leader role not to acknowledget having the plan, not having the answer. So we had to learn how to kind of create a sense of safety, or enough safety within the group to explore together. And that was a journey and it was, I think I’m still learning how to do that. And one of the challenges I think is that you can’t teach someone who already knows. So this idea of leaders being lifelong learners sometimes feels like a dichotomy because the more you lead, the more experience you have to draw from. It can be easy to stop learning because you think you already know and the feeling of not knowing, the feeling of learning can actually be really disorienting and uncomfortable. I’d much rather know the answer than not know the answer. 

Kate: How have you found this in the Asian context where I think it’s particularly harder for leaders to embrace this kind of leading as learners, as co-participants when culturally they’re expected to know everything and be that sort of more hierarchical leader.

Josiah: One thing I’ve seen is leaders that are able to have that top voice, to frame a direction of travel without saying this is the exact path to get there, that we’re going to need to discover it together. And so they’ve been able to have that voice and that influence from the top and then allow a process to emerge within the group they’re leading, as they figure out how to move forward towards that goal. That’s one way I’ve seen and then another would be a bit more subversive or indirect. For example, I got hired as a coach for an organization that was working in the eastern part of India developing different factories and it was growing pretty rapidly. And they were trying to train a whole layer of middle management to keep up with their growth. And so they wanted me to be a coach. Now, in my mind coach has a certain framework around it, it is very facilitative. For these clients that I was working with, they saw me as the guru. So rather than fighting that role I embraced it, I owned it, but then I engaged them in a facilitative way. So, for example, I would say “You’re so fortunate, you found me. I’m going to teach you everything you need to know. You’re going to be such a better leader after working with me”.

Kate: That must have felt uncomfortable for you?

Josiah: Maybe not quite that extreme but along those lines, you know, that’s what they were looking for, that reassurance. And then I would say, “But for me to help you I really  have to understand more about what you are working with, what you are experiencing and then I would just start asking all these questions. And things would start to be unearthed and I would ask them what they saw the possibilities to be, what their sense of the right move forward. And so over time, then they were able to see, well, actually we did this ourselves, but it didn’t start that way. I couldn’t convince them just by describing it. They had to experience it. 

Kate: Yes. Absolutely. And that leads me on to the element that’s really important, I think, in conversational leadership Is creating a sense of safety, psychological safety for people, holding their anxiety. I think Stacey talks about holding anxiety for people. Can you tell me a little bit about how you’ve done that? You gave one great example there. 

Josiah: Yeah. So for me, I think it starts with being more aware of my own anxiety, and acknowledging that and being able to hold that. Because it’s easy, I think, for me to come into a group that I’m working with and bring some of that anxiety myself. And so I need to be aware of my own and then I can be able to start to hold that for others. And I love the framework in the Dialogic OD book that talks about moving from… they talk about a container. And so the idea that a container is useful because of what it contains. So my coffee cup, it’s not so much about the cup, it’s about what it contains inside that gives it value. So the container could be temporary, it could be a discussion group, it could be a working team. But the process they describe is instability of the container, where it’s just starting to take shape, and then instability in the container, as a group that’s starting to work out how they relate to each other. And then you can start to get to real movement, interaction, after you get to stability within the container. And so, for my role, as a facilitator of a conversation or a group, I start off as as, in many ways, as the container for the group. I’m containing the anxieties, I’m aware of them. And people are looking to me to help manage the anxieties that they’re bringing. But as the group begins to form together, my role starts to move to the periphery. And so, instead of being front and centre, I’m starting to move to the edge more, as the group begins to do its work.

Kate: What do you do practically to hold anxiety in session? You gave the example from when you were working in India. You sort of framed your role and kind of met them halfway with their expectations of you. What else might you do to make people feel safe. They are coming to something quite new, maybe they’re discussing a topic which is destabilising for them. What will you actually do in the room?

Josiah: Well, some of it can be very simple in conversation. So at the beginning of a gathering, we might have people get into pairs for conversation and just briefly discuss what might keep you from being fully present today, fully present in this next session. What is it that matters to you most about this topic or about what we’re going to discuss and what might get in the way of you fully showing up? Just pausing to acknowledge that, to recognize, we’ll even do some brief things like a body scan, depending on the type of group. Just to notice, you know, what are you feeling, what are you bringing in with you? You know, tension in your shoulders, is your chest tight? You’re kind of holding your breath, not getting full, deep breaths? Some groups are more or less comfortable with that but I think it still can be useful to practice. But then for myself, being able to pay attention to what I’m sensing, internally, has been a learning process for me because oftentimes that gives me clues about what’s going on in the room. And then I can verbalize that, not project it on the people but I can say “I noticed this happening inside of me. I don’t know what that’s about. Does anybody have any thoughts about that? Or any comment, or…?” You know, I open it up, open up my own internal experience to the group and oftentimes then that will surface from the group, something that’s happening. And if the anxiety is pushed down and not acknowledged and we just try to move forward, it still leaks out. 

Kate: Yes, it reminds me of, we’ve been in this book group, talking about this book Organization Development by Mee-Yan Cheung Judge, who I know has been one of your mentors and teachers. And she talks about the ‘use of self’. And I think that’s what you’re touching on, and something I’m really interested in. And in that kind of setting, that’s a huge amount of vulnerability and transparency, that people may not be comfortable with. Do you not introduce more anxiety when you ask people to be that vulnerable, to talk about feelings? I’m particularly thinking about, working with Western men, who might not be so comfortable talking about their emotions. 

Josiah: Yeah. So you have to really try to understand your group, where they’re at, who you’re working with. And there’s a variety of things I’ve done to help make it a smoother on ramp for people. One would be if they’re people you have a particular concern for prior to a session to be able to have have some conversational engagement with them, to sense what might be helpful for them to fully show up and engage. It is going to be risky. And one of the ways that we deal with that is to move slowly, I think of it, kind of like a spiral or a funnel, like you cam slowly progress. So there was a famous study done. These people that said if you get strangers together and you get them to answer these, I think it was 35 questions, together over 45 minutes, they had a high likelihood of falling in love with each other. 

Kate: Wow, okay. 

Josiah: You know, the psychology study that was done. The concept behind it was, deepening mutual reciprocal self- disclosure. So that you’re slowly sharing a bit more about yourself and then hearing a bit more about the other person. So we do that in threes and you get people sitting close together, knees touching, really close proximity. And then you have several rounds of questions. It doesn’t have to be 35 and we’re not trying to get them to fall in love, but we’re getting them past the point of anxiety and to really starting to see each other as humans, so, there is a human to human connection instead of seeing each other as a role or as a persona.

Kate: That’s really special actually. That human connection at a deep level is something that we all naturally crave, we need, we’re made to need it, and yet our society, education, our cultures have sort of put barriers between us. But actually if you’re going to get anywhere in a conversation, in work, if you’re going to bring about change, then you need to, you need to get rid of those barriers. There’s walls that we put up between ourselves and put yourself in a vulnerable place. But I know that’s really hard for people. How has this all gone down in your organization?

Josiah: One thing that has helped us for us to model it. If I model it, if I do that hard work, and if I’m doing that learning and growing, then what I bring is a different presence to the room and that’s where the facilitator is as container can start to happen, where you’re creating a sense of safety just by your presence in the room, in your ‘use of self’ like Mee-Yan would say. But then also working with others that I had already gone deep with, we were able to model together a different kind of interaction and a different kind of conversation that would be different than what people had experienced before, especially like you said in certain cultural groups, that maybe don’t share that much, about their inner world. And so for us, we recognize that, some authors said, most people in an organization are doing a second job, no one is paying them for and that’s covering up their weaknesses. If you really pay attention , so much energy  under the surface goes into managing or as they would say, covering up our weaknesses and when you are able in a group, in a team or an organization, to increase the safety it frees up some of that energy for other things, for creativity and productivity. It’s amazing what can happen.

Kate: Before the pandemic we used to have a lot more in-person meetings. A product of the pandemic is we do a lot more stuff online. Has that been the same for you? And if so, how do you go about creating that container in an online space?

Josiah: I think it takes more time online. It can take more time has been our experience, but having opportunities for people to connect personally and to begin to share from their world and finding small way to bring each other into your world. And there’s lots of creative, simple ways out there to do that. But one of the things we’ve seen is that it does take extra time in the meeting space or in the conversation to make that happen and sometimes we do that in the context of the large medium, sometimes we do it sequentially where there might be a series of smaller interactions that lead into a bigger conversation. 

Kate: You almost have to create that margin time you were referring to earlier, like, when you meet in person you have the coffee breaks, you have the meal times, you have the evenings, you have the “Oh, I just bumped into you in the corridor and we were chatting for 10 minutes” kind of things, which you don’t have in online meetings, you sort of show up, you’re there and then you leave. I think we need to explore much more creating those margin opportunities and making them manageable for people, because often the last thing you want to do if you’ve been in several  hours of online meeting is hang around and eat lunch with someone online as well.

Josiah: Yeah, and we found that people often need some support to know how to engage. Almost that good conversation can feel like a lost art at times. So just the fact that you arranged for three people to get together and have a small group conversation, they might not be sure what to talk about or they might just play out common scripts in a conversation without really sharing at a personal level or a meaningful level and so we try to give a bit of prompting for people to choose. They can still choose what they want to talk about, but it takes it another level deeper. But I’ve also found it’s important to verbalize and externalize what we’re experiencing online. Because body language is not as visible and so on. 

Kate: If I’ve got my arms crossed and tense when you can only see my head and shoulders. 

Josiah: Yeah. So it’s just stopping to ask people, to check in and say, “I’m curious after I said that what was going on for you Kate, you know, what were you experiencing?”. And just simple check-ins like that. And also for me to model doing that. I’ve had to learn to do that anyway because I tend to be not very expressive externally. And often people struggle to know what I’m thinking or what I’m feeling. So I have to work extra hard to let them know. So actually I was already practising that when we had to move online, but I found that it’s helpful for others to do that as well.

Kate: There’s a whole lot more intentionality and verbalizing things, and showing up in a different way, I think, is what I’m hearing you say, whether in person or online. 

Josiah: That’s right. And it opens up a lot of possibilities at the same time. I mean, it has constraints for sure, but it has also allowed us to do a lot of things we wouldn’t have been able to do before. And working asynchronously. We do a lot through exchanging voice conversations that aren’t happening live in real time and actually find it really interesting to listen to a ten minute recording of a co-worker talking compared to listening to them talking for 10 minutes. In a meeting I might – if there’s five of us sitting around – I might start to get impatient or feel like we’re not equally sharing the space, I’m thinking about what I’m going to say. But if I know I’m just listening and I’ve got 10 minutes to hear them and I’m trying to really remember what I’m listening to so that I can respond in an hour or two – I’ll often do this on walks and will just listen to the recordings on the walk. I find myself really engaging in a deeper kind of listening. 

Kate: Oh, I really like that. That’s not a tool that I’ve used – I mean, obviously we send Whatsapp messages to each other but actually asking people to record themselves, say on WhatsApp or Signal, share that with the rest of the group. And then you each, you take the time to listen, That’s s quite a lot of listening time. If you’ve got a, like, our leadership team of seven people, if we all chat, right, 10 minutes. That’s quite a lot of listening. But still, it’s something when you’re in a different time zones, especially, you can do it asynchronously and then come to the meeting and you’ve already heard what other people bringing and then you start at a different place in the process.

Josiah: Exactly, that synchronous time is so precious especially for global calls where we’re going from the West coast of the US to Asia, you know, we’ve got about an hour an a half window. And so if we’re using that for each person to start off with their update or where they’re coming from, we don’t really get to much of the conversation and the follow-up questions and dialogue, that could happen. 

Kate: And you know what I also love? Those of you in Asia, at least in our organisation, often end up being in meetings late at night… and it gives you a chance to record your thoughts at a time of day when you are awake!

Kate: I think one final question for you – although I talk for a lot longer on this topic – but the big question for us is always, how do you move from conversation to action? It’s not just talk is it? And that’s sometimes the accusation we get, “Well, conversational leadership is just talk. How’s that different?” How do you make that leap to actually making a decision, doing something? 

Josiah: This is really an interesting one because I would say there’s an assumption in the question itself, that those are two different things or that they are separate and in our experience, oftentimes, they’re really not that separate. You know, would people be willing to consider that talk is action. And for us, we work with a lot of leaders who are fairly activist in their leaning, you know, they want to produce something, they want to see something happen, and at the same time, there’s a lot of energy that gets expended and then we have to start over again. And so the process of action and conversation being held together, I think, is really important for us. That we are starting to move forward based on the conversations we’ve had but we are paying attention as we go. We’re continuing to listen to each other and we’re expecting that there’s going to be a lot of adjustments and course corrections and things we didn’t anticipate that we need to learn from it, and be ready to adapt to. So it’s really both together in our experience that are important. The other thing I would say is so much of our focus has been moving to action. And when we move too quickly to action, we found it takes so much more effort to sustain that action. Whereas sometimes if we stay longer in the conversation, or some of our leaders are getting impatient, what happens is, coming out of that, the people involved move so much faster, and are so much more self-organised that they execute much more quickly. And it’s interesting, I remember reading a case study from the company WL Gore that makes goretex and other products. They talked about how they take way longer than other companies to explore possibilities. But then once they move to action, they outperform other companies by far, like their speed keeps their advantage. But their speed actually comes from slowing down long enough to explore together, to surface things that would have been missed otherwise, and for the energy of everyone in the room to be fully unleashed.

Kate: That’s really significant and it takes, again, a very conscious, deliberate patience to slow yourself down, to resist that temptation to jump too quickly to a decision. Sam Kaner talks about the groan zone, staying in the groan zone. You’re probably familiar with that and I think we’ve mentioned that on the podcast before. Don’t jump to the convergence, the decision-making, too fast because you might miss the thing you really need. 

Josiah: Yeah, that’s right. I like that, the groan zone. Somebody else calls it the zone of productive disequilibrium. 

Kate: That’s a mouthful, I’ll stick with the groan zone!

Josiah: But that’s really key, being able to stay there. And so for us, it’s the idea that you come up with a good enough plan and then you can just act it out, that hasn’t held true and so we have to keep the conversation open because we expect to be learning as we go and so we move from plans to planning as an ongoing reality.

Kate: Because things will emerge and then you need to respond and then you’ll move further and further away from the original plan. But it might actually be better, it might be where you really needed to go. I think the era of strategic plans that are in cement, or on the shelf, you know, that’s long gone, isn’t it? I think emergent  planning is where we really need to be because things move so fast and we need to be responsive.

Josiah: That’s right. That’s been our experience.

Kate: Well, as I said, Josiah, I could talk for a lot longer, but I think we’ll wrap this up for today. Thank you so much for giving me your time today. Really enjoyed talking to you.

Josiah: It’s been fun to be with you, thanks Kate.

Kate: And thanks too to our listeners for joining us as we start our second season. As always please leave us your thoughts and comments at leadinginconversation.net. That’s all for now. See you soon! 

Episode 6

Leading in Conversation
Leading in Conversation
Leading in Conversation – Episode 6
Loading
/

Transcript

Kate: Hello and welcome to another episode of Leading in Conversation! Today we thought we’d do something a little bit different and answer some questions. As we’ve been doing quite a lot of talking and presenting recently in our organisation about conversational leadership at a couple of different events and as more people have been listening to our podcast, we’re collecting quite a few excellent questions and we thought we’d just take some time to tackle them today. 

Nelis: I wish we had the people themselves asking it, and that we truly had a conversation and not just the sterile conversation between the two of us, but it’ll have to do! 

Kate: Absolutely. That would be way more fun wouldn’t it? We really enjoy it when people join us. But today, it’s just us. Bit boring, hey? Okay, so Nelis, are you ready for the first question? 

Nelis: Let’s try it!

Kate: Is conversational leadership just another tool in a leaders toolbox or is it more than that? 

Nelis: It’s definitely more than that. It is a tool. It’s actually a very useful tool, but it goes way beyond that. It is really about understanding how organisations work: this idea that an organisation is a network of conversations and how change actually happens. It is embracing the idea that the conversation triggers the change, and the conversation in many ways is the change. It really contrasts the organisation as a machine that you need to tinker with and that is how traditionally organisations have been seen. And so, if you really embrace this idea of organisations as networks of people who relate to each other, that’s where decisions are being made in context, and conversational leadership is about joining that but triggering those new ideas, etc. 

Kate: Yes. I like to pair conversational leadership with co-creational. Conversational and co-creational leadership because I think therein is the difference. It’s not just about talking, it’s not about pulling out a participatory methods tool. It’s not just saying, “Well, now we’re going to be conversational about this and talk more”. It’s actually about bringing more people into discussion, into a space where you need some direction, to co-create a solution together. And it’s operating with that mindset all the time.

Nelis: Which is exactly quite a challenge because then broadening the network of decision-makers and assuming that decisions are going to be made at every level of the organisation, that’s what conversational leadership is about. But that’s also something that takes time, and it’s hard to maintain. That’s why we keep talking about it. 

Kate: And as we always say, we’re not experts, we’re still figuring this out as we go. Definitely. Okay, next question. 

Nelis. So Kate, after talking about what it really is, the question then comes up, and somebody asked us that, what is actually new about this? What is new about conversational leadership compared to other approaches? 

Kate: That’s a good question. I think for me, one of the biggest things is that the focus in conversational leadership is not on leaders, ironically. It’s on the wisdom of all. Conversational leadership fits into that paradigm of post-heroic leadership. It’s not just about a leader isolated, making the decision even with a small group of other leaders at the top, but it’s… the word is heterarchical, not hierarchical. You want to get as many people as possible and leaders and consultants are part of the process, not standing outside it, acting on the organisation, you know, as you said as a machine.

Nelis: So let me add to that, and I’ve said this before, it’s kind of my hobby horse, but what I think is key to it is also that it really embraces the emergent nature of change. It really embraces this idea that organisations are always in movement and that setting a vision from the top doesn’t work because it’s always fluid. It embraces that fluidity and uses it actually as something really powerful, by having more people involved in the whole decision-making process, by freeing people up to make their own decisions and to look for novelty, and to leverage that. 

Kate: Yes, so instead of imposing a decision about where we are going in a process, you know, leaders imposing a decision:  “This is what we’re aiming for, everyone”, it’s like, “What’s the problem? Where do we want to go?”, getting people together, getting the diversity in the room, creating conditions for novelty to emerge in conversation. 

Nelis: Yes, and really, being okay with the idea that there is not one right answer or that the right answer for now, may not be the right answer in the future. Even a lot of facilitated processes have in the past been or continue to often focus on getting the right answer, getting the best answer. Well, conversational leadership assumes that there is no best answer. There are lots of answers and some work better than others and what works well now may not work well tomorrow. And it’s that constant going-with-the flow of working it out in community. 

Kate: In fact, just yesterday, I was meeting with my team leaders and we’re doing our FY23 planning and really trying to wrestle with, you know, what does this look like – emergent planning, doing this conversationally, in an emergent way, because you know, we made plans for the last couple of years and many of them didn’t happen because of Covid. So how therefore do we now plan for the next year not knowing what will happen, but being okay with that. I think we’re all becoming a little bit more comfortable with that emergent planning. We’ll start some things and see what happens, see what emerges. And I think that’s quite new. I think that still takes a lot of getting used to. 

Nelis: Yes, and that creates resistance as well. Although some of this and I think it’s good to point out. This is not the unique domain of conversational leadership. The idea that you quickly change, the fact that you bring in more people. All of these things are not in that sense unique. But I think  conversational leadership brings those elements together in a coherent way of thinking that combines things in new ways. 

Kate: So, another question we’ve had, Nelis, is: what do you think makes a particular method conversational or not conversational? I like this one.

Nelis: Yes, I like that too. It’s a difficult question because there are so many different tools out there that use conversation. It’s not black and white, let me put it that way. There are a lot of methods that use conversation and you could call those conversational, you wouldn’t be wrong, but I think what really is key for something to be truly conversational, is that it pools the wisdom from the whole group and doesn’t assume an answer ahead of time. That it doesn’t try to push the group into a certain direction, but that it’s truly coming in without a predefined answer. And too often I’ve seen facilitated processes that are trying to get a group to buy in. And what makes a method truly conversational, is when the answer is completely unknown going into it. You may have a suspicion of what might come out, but you just don’t know and you’re totally okay with that. And I think that is a key element in a method truly being conversational. 

Kate: Is there something also about the nature of the conversation? 

Nelis: I think there is. So, let’s explore that together. 

Kate: Yes, I mean, so with my team yesterday, I was leading a conversation about, a discussion about what are our big picture priorities going to be for our overall unit for the next three years. It’s something about the quality of conversation, something about keeping the conversation free-flowing, helping people to make associations. So as the facilitator, the leader in that situation, I was very much trying to hold back, to listen, to make connections but not impose anything, any sense making too prematurely. And actually as a leader it felt a little bit sort of random and chaotic to me but by the time we got to the end, everyone was like, “Wow that was a really significant conversation, that was so rich” and I was just like “Oh but I need some things, some words, to put in the plan!”. We’re not there yet. It was just a brainstorm. But there’s a piece there about the quality, the flow, the sense-making in a conversational process, compared to non-conversational. 

NElis: Yes, and I think that is really helpful but there’s another element in the nature of the conversation that it is focused on finding answers together. So it’s not just a random conversation between friends. A conversational leadership conversation has to be focused on moving the organisation of the group further into a decision, into a new product, into new developments, into new understandings. It’s not a random conversation.

Kate: There’s definitely an element of discernment in there. And actually, what we did at the end of yesterday’s meeting was said, “Okay, press pause on this. Let’s all go away, let’s reflect. Let’s see what else comes, make notes on this between now and our next meeting”. And then we’ll pick it up again and then try to do some synthesis or sense-making. But really being open to what is developing, what is emerging. And trying to pin that down at a certain point, but not too soon. Which actually leads us on to another question. You can try this one. How do decisions get made in a conversational leadership approach? 

Nelis: Yes, we often get asked this because there’s this fear that you get bogged down and no decisions get made or it gets way too slow. So how decisions get made is really important. And I think it is a key part of leadership to hold the group accountable for decision-making at some point.  You can do that in some kind of predetermined but flexible time frame, by you saying, “We’ve got to come to a decision at this point.” And you can say, “Okay, we’re not there yet. We need a little bit more time”. But it’s not endlessly flexible. So I think that is the role of leadership to either let the consensus emerge and basically say, “Okay, I think we’ve got a decision”. 

Kate: “Does that resonate with you?  Are you hearing what I’m saying?” Etc. So that the leader does kind of step in, or the facilitator steps in, and has a sensemaking role – to pull things out and say, “Well, this is what I’m hearing,  is this correct?” 

Nelis: Or even when it is still quite divergent and you need to come to a decision, to propose something and say “For now I propose that we go with this, hold this lightly, revisit it if it turns out to be wrong, but is everyone okay, moving ahead with this in the meantime?” And I think that is an important aspect where you don’t impose it but you give it as a best answer for now that we can arrive at. 

Kate: Yes, another thing that we came across when we were reading about dialogic processes was this idea of the conversation leading to what they call “probes”. Which is a kind of decision-making.  Say you gather together as a team and you’ve got a problem and you want to find different solutions. At the end of a conversation process, you might say, “Well, here’s a couple of things we’re going to try”. As a leader you give permission, you give budget, you open up gateways for people to then experiment with those probes. And that’s a form of decision-making. It’s an emergent way. “Let’s try this out and see a pilot project. Let’s keep going down this road a little bit and see if this leads somewhere”.

Nelis: And to me that has all to do with this embrace of emergence. We don’t know what the right answer is, but we’ve got to move forward with something and some things will work out, may work out for now, but not forever. And you constantly readjust. And so probes, tentative plans, tentative decisions are, I think, absolutely essential. It creates freedom for people to participate and to try things out, which I think we don’t do often enough

Kate: And it may not be the perfect decision. I think the critical thing is that it’s a good enough decision. This is something I came up against in my research, coming from Ralph Stacey and colleagues, this sense of “good enough”. You know, often, we’re in our strategic planning, we’re just trying to pin everything down and get everything just right. This really resonated with me because so much of the time we can’t know what the future is going to hold. And I think as leaders it’s hard to embrace that “not knowing” and sometimes we just need to settle for a good enough decision, not a perfect one. And then time and practice reveals whether that was the right decision or not, and you make adjustments. And that obviously takes humility to be willing to adjust and actually admit that wasn’t the right decision, but here’s what we’ve learned in the process.

Nelis: And again, this is not unique – it’s good to keep pointing that out – to conversational leadership. I’m right now reading a book by Carla Johnson about Innovation. One of her things is there is not this one thing that will be “The Innovation”. You should come with 30 different ideas in your pocket. There are hundreds of them out there that could work. It’s just finding them. And she has this method for finding them, which is very much also, one of the methods is crowdsourced. And so, just pointing out that there are overlaps with other ideas in current management literature. 

Kate: Things like this don’t come from nowhere, they develop because of the sea change in society or because of a change in our access to information or our ability to connect. We can do crowdsourcing now, we can do participatory things in a way that we couldn’t do previously because we didn’t have the internet, we didn’t have Zoom, etc. Or even getting everyone in the room, in the same room at the same time. Did  we answer the question then? “How do decisions get made in a conversational leadership approach?”. I think we did.And “Collectively” is probably a one-word answer. How do decisions get made? “Together!” 

Nelis: Collectively, tentatively. And holding it lightly. Yes.

Nelis: Another question that has come up is that we have used – in our organisation – participatory methods quite a lot already. So what does it actually add when you talk about conversational leadership? 

Kate: Yes, good question, actually. So, yes in SIL – because of the nature of our work with communities – we have already used participatory methods a lot. We have a lot of people who are very well trained in how to do this. And  is conversational leadership something new? In a sense, no. I think they share a philosophical basis in social constructionism, that together we create reality, we create understanding, we create meaning, as well as some of the principles that, you know, listening is very important. The quality of the conversation is very important. The power of language, narrative, stories, etc. I’d say that there are lots of participatory tools that you can use to facilitate conversations. And we’ve certainly used some of them. I think we’ve talked in the past about World Cafe, Focused Conversation, Appreciative Inquiry, others like that. And the Bushe and Marshak book that I have added onto our resources page, has a long list of different participatory methods that can be used. And you can Google that if that’s new to you

Nelis:  What I think is also new in the way we’ve approached this recently is to take the facilitator more out of the central role. A lot of participatory methods are very facilitation heavy and the facilitator has everything sorted out ahead of time. It’s like a hub-and-spoke. So the facilitator is the hub. Everything flows through that facilitator. Whereas, I believe that what we’re seeing in truly conversational leadership is the role of the facilitator is much less pronounced. We’ve called it the host. It’s the idea that leadership flows to different parts of the organisation, different people and it doesn’t have to be all neatly methodical and sorted out ahead of time. I think that that is a key part of conversational leadership that in traditional participatory methods is less in focus. 

Kate: And of course, we may be completely misrepresenting participatory methods here. So if you are a practitioner please write and let us know. 

Kate: Okay, here’s a bit of a fun one to end on then. Is conversational leadership just for extroverts and people who like talking? I love this! We are both extroverts, verbal processors, and we like talking. So we may be a little bit biased here. What do you think, Nelis? 

Nelis: I wonder if introverts wouldn’t actually be better at it? Because yes, extroverts love talking, but I think the key thing in conversational leadership is the listening part. And listening is so absolutely essential. I think a lot of introverts have this to contribute, that they listen well. They get all the different viewpoints, they don’t come in with their ideas already sorted out ready to roll. The pitfall for an extrovert is that you’re wanting to jump in and guide it and bring your wonderful idea out there. And actually that’s not what it’s about at all. So I’m not sure that it’s just for extroverts actually, because they [introverts] may be more qualified. 

Kate: Yes, I agree. I think it’s not about quantity of talking either – which we may be guilty of – but quality of conversation. It’s an important distinction there. So no, it’s not just for extroverts or some people who like conversation but it’s probably a little bit easier for us. 

Nelis: So again, love to hear comments and responses from people who are introverts and who have participated in those kinds of processes and share your thoughts.

Kate: A final question which we’re not actually going to answer now is one that does come up a lot. It comes up so much that we’re actually going to devote a whole podcast episode and invite some friends and colleagues to join us for this one. This is, how does conversational leadership work in different cultural settings? We’ll be setting up another podcast and look out for that one. It’s a critical question, as many of us work in multicultural environments with people from different cultures. How do we make it work across cultures when some people are more culturally inclined to speak up first and voice their own opinions and speak as individuals, and others will hold back, are thinking about how to honour and respect others in the room, they’re aware of things like age and seniority, hierarchy. And also for leaders in some cultures, where leaders are really thought to be weak if they don’t have the answer already on the tip of their tongues. How do you use conversational leadership in that kind of environment without looking weak? 

Nelis: Great, Kate, that is a wonderful cliffhanger for a future episode. This is like an episode in a series…

Kate: Tune in for the answers… 

Nelis: Exactly, but we’re hoping to do that in a way that we as two westerners are not going to provide the answers. We need to do this in dialogue with actually people from those cultures otherwise we’re falling into the trap of answering for others, and I don’t think we should do that.

We’re looking forward to seeing you next time on Leading in Conversation. It’s fun to be with you all!